Frequently Asked Questions

When does the group meet?

Our goal is to have regular get-togethers so people can choose one that fits their schedule.

Until we have a regular space, get-togethers will be happening in people’s apartments. Timing will will depend on their availability.

If you add your contact information to the invite list, we’ll let you know when upcoming meetings are scheduled and we can collect RSVPs until that gathering is full, depending on the size of the space we’ve found.

When we have a regular space, we hope to be able to accommodate everyone who wishes to show up.

How young/old/in-shape is the crowd?

We’re open to everyone. In practice, since recruiting happens by referral and we’re living in a college town, we’ve ended up with members ranging from 20 to 55. Most are between 19 and 38, with a median age of 28.

If the group gets large enough, we may want to have nights that are for certain subgroups, but for a long-term healthy organization, having a mix of guys is probably best.

Our goal is for everyone who attends an event to have at least a couple of guys they find a real turn on. We mostly achieve that.

How big is the group?

Within four days of starting the group, we had over 30 guys on the mailing list and we now have several hundred. The size of any event will depend on where it’s being hosted and what the capacity is. Eventually we hope to have a large enough list and large enough space to have no practical limits on the size of any one gathering. Until then, however, gatherings tend to be between 10 and 25 guys. We’ve found that 15 people in an average living room works quite well.

How confidential is the group?

Completely. We welcome everyone, and are already getting interest from men who identify as straight, bisexual, or on the DL. Everything that happens in the group stays in the group.

By attending, you agree to keep everything that happens at the group, as well as who attends, completely confidential. Furthermore, you agree not to contact other group members outside the meetings unless they explicitly agree in advance.

The membership list will never be shared or used for anything except to announce meetups.

I’m straight, curious, or on the DL. Can I attend?

Of course. We have several straight members, bi members, curious, and married. Many straight men enjoy group JO, as well as men who are on the DL. Everyone is welcome, and we are non-judgmental, make no assumptions about sexual orientation. We’re here to have a fun, confidential bonding experience.

I’m nervous about this…

Yeah, me too. Or more specifically, I was when I founded the group. I’d never done anything like this before. That’s why you can be sure we’ve designed the whole experience to go at your pace, respecting your boundaries, and your confidentiality.

Once we had our first meeting, it was clear that this was going to be super-fun, super-sexy, and a way to make some new, good friends.

Is it safe?

One reason we are JO-only is that it’s the safest sexual activity there is. Mutual JO is also quite safe.

Our ground rules also ask members to get explicit consent before touching another member. There is absolutely no pressure; we want you to feel free to get as involved as you feel comfortable.

Do you just do jacking off?

Just? JUST? Oh, boy. You have no idea how sexy and fun a party can be!

The idea is “no lips below the hips” and no penetration. It’s fine to do other safe activities: jerk off, give handjobs, make out, bukkake, licking, role play, dirty talk, nipple play, massage, and kiss.

We’ve decided that JO only is the best way to run this club. It’s the safest form of play, which is a great thing. Plus, no one has to worry about feeling like they should want to do more. If you want to know our reasons in detail, see our page explaining Just Jacking.

You’re welcome to lend a hand to a friend (with their explicit verbal consent), but oral and assplay are off-limits at our meetings. If you meet someone and want to do more, you can just make arrangements to meet sometime outside the group.

We occasionally have “oral-allowed” parties, but the group is primary for JO.

Why can’t I bring poppers/alcohol/drugs?

We’re a no-substances event, period. It protects everyone and is respectful of the hosts for no substances to be consumed on premises. You’re welcome to come, but not your chemicals. What you do before you arrive is none of our business, of course, but anyone visibly intoxicated will be asked to leave. Let’s all have a safe, fun event!

How do I qualify for an invitation?

We like referrals. If you’re referred by someone we know, that’s the best qualification. We ask that only men over 18 who visually “read” as under 45 join. If you’re older and are in great shape, we do make exceptions on age. At the moment we also conduct a ground rules videochat to make sure it’s a good fit.

Is there a charge?

There will be costs involved for lube and towels, and especially if we have to rent a space. We’ll want to find a way to have the whole group pitch in. Whether this will be a per-meeting requested donation or a flat membership fee will depend on costs.

What happens at a meeting?

We start with some socializing and chatting, breaking the ice, etc. Then we form a circle on a couch and chairs, put on some porn, and start to go at it. We might all jerk off solo, watching the porn and each other. You might ask someone if you can stroke them, or be asked, and go for it. Or if you just want to watch, that’s fine, too. After edging for a while, some guys may cum, others might not, etc. Then we clean up, possibly socialize some more, and go home.

What if I’m not attracted to any of the guys?

We try to have a variety of guys at our parties, and we hope there’s someone for everyone. If not, you certainly are free to leave, or bring a book, or compose bad poetry1. Just be polite and respectful about it. We want you to have fun! Our party sizes are small relative to the number of men on our mailing list, so you’ll get a different mix of guys if you attend a different party.

What if I don’t get hard?

You’re not alone; a lot of the group has expressed this fear. That means that pretty much everyone knows it can happen. You can just watch porn or the rest of the group for a while, if you want. You can put on your underwear if you want. But one of our rules is: respect and support. No one’s going to think any worse of you, and it’ll be fine. It happens to all of us.

What if my body isn’t a perfect 10.

Yeah, we live in the age where guys now have tons of body issues too. Even the guys who look like perfect 10s are often insecure about their looks. We are not trying to be an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. We’re real live humans, and we look like real live humans. The ground rule is: support. Everyone doesn’t have to be attracted to everyone else, but we do ask all attendees to be supportive of everyone else.

News

We’re virtual for COVID

by | Aug 16, 2020

Since March 2020, we've suspended in-person meetings and have been meeting virtually on a Slack channel and Zoom room. I'm hoping that our so-called leaders get their act together and take the actions that will get infection rates low enough that it's safe to gather...

We’re going strong!

by | Oct 23, 2019

We've now met somewhere over 40 times in 36 months! The mailing list is now over 500 guys. We continue to be mostly a JO club, and we also have occasional oral-allowed parties. Finding places to host remains our biggest challenge, but the group is now up and thriving.

Current stats

by | Nov 28, 2018

Quick update: we have now had over 30 parties. We’re always looking for hosts. We have hundreds of guys on the invite list. It’s going well.

  1. Reading your new poem, “It’s Hard to be a Perfect 10” out loud to the room would probably be crossing the line. ↩

Come get involved!

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OPTIONAL

These questions help organizing groups so we can find times and places that work for everyone, etc.

Please leave a number we can text to speed up our ability to organize on the fly. If you leave this blank, we'll use email, but that has the disadvantage that if you identify yourself as "John," we won't know which of the 19 Johns you are.
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Your types

What's your type and who you're attracted to? We may try to have some specialized groups, and this will help us know what combinations of guys will work.

How would you describe yourself?
How would you describe yourself?
What guys are you attracted to?
What guys are you attracted to?

When and where can you meet?

Monthly, weekly, etc.

Events may be in private homes, AirBNB, or hotels. Private home events are smaller. All events require advance RSVP. Both hotels and AirBNB would require splitting the costs, shooting for $10-$20 per person

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Where can you attend?
Some attendees may prefer to watch or be nervous about getting undressed in a group setting. Yet having clothed attendees can create a weird vibe for other member (unless, of course, the clothing is part of a role play or clothing fetish). Should we disallow clothing?
The group will initially be oriented around JO and circle jerks. Some members have expressed an interest in oral as well. Others thing that keeping things JO only make it safer and more open for men who identify as straight or curious.
If someone referred you, please let us know who.