FAQ for Hosting an Event

If you want to host an event, here’s how it works:

  1. Submit an event form with the time, date, and details so it can be announced to the group list.
  2. We’ll contact you about when to send the announcement. We find that it’s best to announce at least 36 hours before the event.
  3. We’ll create an RSVP form and send out the announcement. You will receive the RSVP forms.
  4. When you decide to close RSVPs, if time permits, we’ll send along a spreadsheet of RSVPs for you to use as a check-in sheet. (You could do the work to assemble a checklist from the RSVP forms, but we can just export the responses as a spreadsheet with a single click.)
  5. You send a logistics email that we forward to attendees, giving details for people who RSVP’d.
  6. You hold the event!

Supplies to Have on Hand

 When hosting, I recommend having:

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  • Lube for guys to use if they need it. “Albolene” is a brand of moisturizing makeup remover than many JO clubs use. It’s rather thick. Silicone-based lubes are more slippery and can be pretty messy.
  • A roll of paper towels for cleanup. 
  • Bedsheets over furniture for guys to sit on without messing up the upholtery.

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Do you want vetted attendees only?

Some hosts want only prior attendees or people we’ve had a live chat with (in-person or video) to attend. The “vetting” generally just consists of reviewing the ground rules and watching for any pushback (“I don’t have to ask for consent. I know what someone wants.”) This is to provide a level of comfort that the person is reasonable.

In practice, given the guys who have been showing up, we’ve been attracting a pretty good group. I don’t believe vetting is necessary, but if you’d be more comfortable, we’ll do it.

What's involved in hosting a hotel event?

Hotel events often have more space than house parties. From experience, about 15-20 guys can meet up in a 200 square foot hotel room. Though it seems counter-intuitive, the more crowded the room is, the faster everyone relaxes and gets comfortable.

To host a hotel party, you simply reserve a hotel room. We then go through the normal RSVP process for an event and we also ask guys how much they’re willing to contribute towards room costs. Generally we allow students under 24 to attend for free.

If we have enough confirmed YESes to cover the room cost, we proceed.

Logistics on the night of the party

To avoid publicizing too widely, you can give guys the hotel address and have them text before they enter the hotel. Then you can send them the room number and they can come on up.

If a hotel requires keycards to come up to the room, then you might want to have everyone meet somewhere nearby beforehand. You can meet them there and then bring them up to the room in a couple of smaller groups.

You should also have a checklist of names and amounts, and collect money as people arrive.

How to divide up costs

On the RSVP form, I usually ask how much people are willing to contribute. I generally give two or three options ($10, $15, and $0 for students under 25). Just let me know what tiers you want and I’ll put that in the RSVP form.

Coordinating with Attendees

No matter how wonderful, amazing, and well-intentioned our attendees are, last minute problems arise, people get lost, they run late, etc. Also, sometimes issues may arise on the part of the host (“abort mission! Parents just arrived for a surprise visit!”).

I recommend getting a free, throwaway text message app (e.g. Textfree Ultra) and email address (e.g. Gmail) to use for communicating with attendees.

Hints for Hosting a Successful Group

A few things that seem to be trends:

  • Generally 36 hours advance notice is a minimum to get a reasonable-size crowd. Most guys only check their CJacks inbox every couple of days.
  • From our very small sample size so far, late afternoon and early evening seems to work best. Don’t know for sure.
  • Plan for about 20% of the “confirmed YES” guys to drop out. So if you want a group of 10, invite 13.
  • A cramped room works better than having a lot of space; people get friendlier faster.
  • No porn works better than porn. It can be a bit awkward, but people get interacting with each other more quickly.
  • Remember to put sheets down on furniture. Guys are generally pretty neat, but it’s best to be prepared.
What does a host have to do at the event itself?

Host responsibilities are few, but they’re important:

  • Treat everyone with courtesy in arranging the event.
  • Make everyone feel welcome, whether or not you’re attracted to them.
  • Remind attendees of ground rules: confidentiality, explicit consent, no street clothes.
  • Make sure everyone is keeping to the JO-only guideline.